~Returning Soldier~ Levi x Reader Chapter 1

"No."

"Oh, come on, Levi, stop being so stiff," the commander said, clapping his shorter, more sour comrade on the back. "It's been an entire month since we've last been inside the walls. It's been a long time since we've been back. I think cutting loose for one night would do much in helping us all unwind."

"It's a bar, it's dirty in there, so I'm not going inside," Levi said with finality. "I've had enough of disgusting, drunken civilians to last me several lifetimes."

Mike Zacharius lifted his nose into the air, inhaling deeply. "It doesn't smell so horrible as others," he said decidedly. "Probably cleaner than a lot of places."

"There you have it," Commander Erwin said decidedly. "You need to relax. Come on. One drink or two won't hurt." His bright blue eyes bored into the corporal, who paid his commander no heed. "Do you really have anything else to do tonight?"

"In fact, I do," Levi said, finding his chance to escape. "I have some business I put off before the expedition to attend to. Though it'll likely take up much of tomorrow, as well."

The commander sighed, defeated. "Permission to have off tomorrow granted. I don't know if you are doing something you shouldn't be or are just taking personal breaks, but I know you won't answer, even if I ask."

Levi's expression unhardened slightly. "What if it's something else entirely?"

With that, the corporal turned away from his confounded fellow soldiers, continuing to ride his tired horse through the lamp-lit nighttime streets. He made his way to the silent HQ, pausing only to unsaddle his horse and saddle up his spare. Tonight, there was no sleep for the restless corporal, only miles and miles of riding. But the light at the end of the night was worth foregoing sleep and a couple of drinks with comrades. 


By dawn, Corporal Levi had made it to his destination; the imposing facade of the grand castle towering above the tired man as he rode along the shore of the clear, shining lake acting as train to the castle, as the water lie directly behind and slightly around the structure. It was a truly beautiful sight, the lone jewel surrounded by plain field crops and the occasional copse of trees. But the scenery was nothing compared to the reason he had come so far out here. 

He led his horse to the stables, careful to not wake the stable boy, who was sleeping peacefully up against the wall, snuggling with a large foal. It didn't truly matter whether or not the boy knew he was visiting, because all the servants knew him already. However, it would make getting to the one person he wanted happen much quicker. Quietly, Levi stabled the horse in one of the back stalls, the one that lie empty specifically for him. 

Casually walking around the perimeter of the castle, Levi followed the inconspicuous servant's path of solid ground, covered with a few centimeters of water, to the hind side of the stone building. He smiled reminiscently, remembering how you had first showed him this path. You had giggled at the shocked expression he wore when it looked to him that you were floating on water. You had ran through the water, gesturing for him to follow you.

Being bound to your job, Levi had made it a point to come visit you when he could, knowing very well you could not leave. Well-paying, safe jobs were a rare commodity in this day and age. He walked along the wall, slowly now that he had reached dry earth, feeling for the depression in the wall. Feeling his hand sink into the wall slightly, he stopped immediately. Bending down, Levi fumbled at the ground. Once his fingers closed around a cool, metal ring, he grasped it and heaved it upwards, revealing a hidden entrance in the castle. Of course, it was only supposed to be used in times of emergency, but having not seen you in over a month certainly counted as one the the corporal.

Jumping into the darkness, Levi landed on his feet, light streaming from mere inches above his head. He pulled the chain connected to the bottom of the trap door, putting up his hands to catch it before it fell heavily shut, and eased it down. Dusting his hands off in disgust, he traveled through the pitch-black tunnel with no trouble, having committed its straight-forward path to memory. He cringed as dirt from the low ceiling crumbled on his shoulders. The passage was safe, for it was fortified with stone beams and wooden supports, but the fact there was dirt everywhere... 

Stubbing his toe against the bottom of a step, he nearly lost his cool demeanor. Biting his lip, Levi cursed under his breath. How had he miscounted his steps? He huffed; he knew why. The urgent need to see you was distracting him. With a deep breath, he climbed the stairs two at a time and emerged into dark storage cellar. Wiping the dirt from himself once more, the corporal crept through the castle using the servant's passages, which were dark and dirty, but at least not made of dirt. He made a note to tell you that the maid service here really needed to be told to clean their own passes as well as the rest of the castle.

Now came the most difficult part: walking through the corridor and left down another hallway, then a quick right, without being seen by any of the castle's residents. It was very early in the morning, though, so they were asleep, no doubt. They were wealthy farm-owners. There was no need for them to wake early. He paused at the corner of the wall, listening for footsteps. After a minute of hearing nothing, Levi crept to the next corner, looked around after not hearing anything, and shot into the room he was looking for.

Well, it wasn't exactly a room. It was a vast, open courtyard filled with the largest, most beautiful garden he had ever seen. Of course, he was biased. 


"Who's there?" you called out, your head popping out over a short, bright-pink azalea bush. You swore you had heard footsteps, but then, you were anxious to see HIM again. He had told you it would mostly likely be a month before you saw each other again, because of the expedition and all... 

Arms wrapped around your waist from behind and pulled you into a tight hug suddenly, causing you to yelp in surprise. Twisting around in his arms, you found yourself face-to-face with Levi, humanity's greatest soldier. "L-Levi! I missed you!" you said breathlessly, wrapping your arms around his next and hugging him back. "I'm so happy your back!" you pulled away to look at him. The shadowy smudges under his eyes alarmed you. "Levi, when did you get back?"

"Last night," he said, letting go of you and sitting back on his knees, just as you were doing. "But I couldn't wait to see you, so I rode till I got here in the morning. The flowers are looking wonderful, by the way."

You beamed at him, happy for receiving a compliment from him. "Aren't they! Spring is definitely in full swing now. Just look at the magnolia tree! Those pretty, star-shaped flowers are absolutely wonderful! I was so worried because of the late frost, but it turns out there was nothing to worry about! And the columbine seeds I bought were a huge success!" You gestured to the patch of tall, brilliant blue and white-flowered plants next to the azalea bush you had just been dead-heading. "I hadn't grown them before, so I wasn't sure, but they've proven to be hardy little plants. And the peonies! Just look at the peonies! They bloomed really early this year! They're so pink and fluffy-" You paused, attention caught by the small smile on Levi's lips. You flushed, rubbing the back of your neck with your gloved hand. "I'm sorry, I'm probably boring you with all the flower talk."
 Come on. 
"No, no," he said quickly. "I don't mind. It's a welcome break from the depressing, serious talk in the military. So keep talking." 

"If you really don't mind," you said, standing up and brushing the dead bits of flowers from your apron. You'd clean those up later. Grabbing his hand hesitantly, you pulled him over to a group of bright yellow flowers when he didn't object. "These are the daffodils! They're so bright and cheery aren't they?" You walked around the garden, with Levi in tow, pointing out all of your prize mid-spring beauties. "All those flowers over there in the middle are the irises! Look at all the colors! Pink, purple, blue white, and mixtures of all of them! And those," you said, pointing to another cluster of flowers, "are my tulips! I really love the ones with multiple colors! I didn't know they could come in that kind of variety until just recently! And there is the cherry tree!" you said brightly, pointing to the short, delicate tree covered in pale pink blossoms. "So beautiful! A pain to clean up after, later, but it's so pretty! And we get cherries from it later in the summer, too! But I'm not a really big fan of cherries, but everyone else here seems to love cherry pie, so we keep the tree!"

You ceased speaking, choosing to observe Levi. His face looked so serene glancing about the garden lazily, that small smile of his never leaving his face. He looked so wonderful like this, not stressed or worried about the happenings in the Survey Corps. But before today, you had never seen him like this. Frowning slightly, you began doubting to tell him your big news.

"_____, is something wrong?" Levi asked, startling you slightly. 

Shaking your head, you smiled at him. "No, it's nothing. But I'm worried about you. You haven't gotten rest in who knows how long. Come over here." He raised an eyebrow, but let you guide him underneath the magnolia tree. It was larger and shadier then the cherry tree. "You should take a nap here. Despite how hard I work here for the mistress, she hardly comes down here, maybe once or twice a week. She never comes in the mornings, either, so you'll have enough time to sleep."

"I don't need to sleep," Levi said, rubbing at his eyes, which were watering profusely. "I'd rather spend my time doing something productive."

"Like what?" you asked, grinning at him. He wasn't particularly straightforward when he expressed himself verbally. But his actions spoke louder than words. He did spend the night riding to see you, after all. Levi stuck out his lower lip, looking annoyed. You laughed. "Okay, fine, I'll stop. But you can still spend time with me, even while you sleep."

Not taking no for an answer, you urged him to sit down against the tree, despite knowing he hated getting dirty. He sighed, and sat down, but not without taking you with him. You laughed as you fell down on his chest, his sinewy arms holding you safely. "I can't take a nap, too, Levi. I've got to work."

"You can have a break every once in a while," he said lightly, running his hand through your short hair. After all, you couldn't have it getting in your way while you worked. "Besides, you work hard enough. This place looks beautiful."

"I don't really consider it work," you said complacently, tracing your fingers over his chest. "I love what I do, so I don't really consider myself having ever really worked a job. But..." you frowned, hesitating to continue. What would he think?

His hand paused. "What is it?" he asked quietly, moving his hand to your shoulder. 

"I-I'm happy, but I don't feel, well, satisfied. This is my dream job, to be sure. But sometimes, it gets kind of boring. And I wonder 'why do I have such a wonderful life inside the walls, while other people are out there, fighting for the lives of people like me?' I don't feel right," you said truthfully, pouring out your thoughts and emotions.

Levi's body stiffened under you. "What are you saying?" he asked, his voice hollow and emotionless. But the slight flutter in his breathing told you otherwise. He understood perfectly well what you were saying, but he didn't want to believe it.

Cringing, you continued, knowing that you couldn't stop now. Prying yourself out of his grasp, you said, "For the past several months since I met you, my eyes have been opened. I've realized that our world is in much more trouble than everyone likes to think. I'm one of the lucky civilians that gets to stay here in a sheltered setting. But I'm not oblivious, not anymore. I don't have the luxury to let everyone do all the fighting for me. I have a duty to mankind. So I've decided to enlist in the military, Levi."

"No!" he said explosively, completely catching you of guard. You knew he wouldn't be pleased with the idea, but you didn't think he'd be this upset. Grasping your shoulders roughly, he glared at you with furious, stormy eyes. "You have a comfortable, content life ahead of you. You don't have to worry about anything here. Nobody will blame you for wanting to stay. You'll be happy here, you'll be safe." His voice, losing its edge, sounded almost pleading.

"Will I be happy?" you asked, frowning. "Because, right now, I feel useless for playing around in a garden while you and your comrades are actually out collecting data and trying to discover more about titans. That's a cause I can readily support. Because what you're doing is greater than yourself. And, if I stay here, I'll worry about you. If I was with you, in the Survey Corps, I-"

Levi made a choking noise. "Do you know exactly how many of us die every time we go out on an expedition? Do you know how many of us are scarred by what we see, what we watch the titans do? Everybody else knows that the Survey Corps is basically a death sentence. Do you want to die?"

"No, I don't!" you said emotionally, holding back tears. "But I don't want to sit around here idly, either! One day, the titans are eventually going to come through Wall Maria. I'm sure of it. We aren't going to be safe forever, like the government wants us to think. When something happens, I want to be able to fight for myself."

"You don't look like you could hurt a fly," Levi said, not sounding unkind, but doubtful. 

"Maybe I don't look like it. But I will try," you said with resolve. "I will do the best I possibly can. I might not have any experience when it comes to fighting, and I might not be the strongest person. But I have something worth fighting for, and that's worth more than any amount of physical know-how."

His hands cupped your face, bringing you nose-to-nose with him. "Don't do this, _____. Please, don't."

"I'm sorry, Levi," you said sorrowfully, your mind made up.

His face hardened, and his hands dropped away from you. Standing up, he dusted himself off. "Fine. Do what you want. Throw your life away, if that's what you really want. But I won't have any part in that." He walked away from you, leaving you sitting on the ground, crying tears of agony in a brightly colored assortment of flowers, determined to look cheery despite the situation.



That was three years ago, you realized, as you lie awake in bed, the rest of the girls in your trainee division sleeping peacefully. Tomorrow was the day you had been looking forward to from day one. It was finally time for you to graduate and choose your military station, and to see him again for the first time since that day. You hoped that all of your hard work had paid off.

At first, you had been behind in the very beginning of training. The physical training was something you weren't used to, and it was a difficult transition from a house maid to a soldier. Your body was mostly soft tissue before, though, after continuing to work hard at the tasks at hand, you slowly acclimated yourself to the soldier's lifestyle. And it paid off. Your resolve and dedication to your goal quickly boosted you from the bottom of the class to the number one spot in your regiment.

Just after the end of the first year, it was apparent that none could parallel your skills to your instructors, and even to the rest of the regiment. Some called you lucky, forgetting that you had had trouble the first several weeks of training. The majority of others called you talented, but that was just the jealously talking. You were in no way talented at warfare. Your hard work, training to your fullest capacity, both during training and during unsanctioned night training, brought you to where you were today. Not saying that the others were lazy, it was just that they simply didn't work as hard as you. Day by day, week by week, you were working diligently, relentlessly towards your goal.

What was that goal? To prove to Levi that you could take care of yourself. To show that you were capable as a soldier. Not just capable, but skilled and powerful and a real asset to the Survey Corps. You wanted to let him know that you were the best, and that the best, like him, simply didn't die. It may have taken three years, but now you finally felt as if you could live up to that expectation. Finally, you felt like you were ready to bear the mantle of rebuilding humanity. At last, you were finally ready to face him again. 

You smiled to yourself at the thought of Levi. Seeing him again was one of your biggest motivators. Anytime you felt down, the image of his face in your mind motivated you to keep going. While the two of you had known each other for barely a year before you enlisted, you had fallen in love with him. Before you stopped seeing him, you never realized how much he meant to you, how much you looked forward to seeing him, how much you adored the way he'd frown slightly when thinking of how to respond to you. You dearly missed the warm hugs and even the occasional kisses he'd bestow upon you. Time did not make those feelings disappear. In fact, those very feelings intensified to the point that you no longer even looked at other men and dreamed of romantic situations. There was only room in your heart for one man, and that was the only man who'd ever have that spot. You could only hope that he felt the same way.