~Kissing You Better~ Erwin x Reader Chapter 2

For the next few weeks, you did your absolute best to find a reason to go to your commander, whether it be for delivering paper work or randomly bringing him a cup of tea or some food you snagged from the larder, stating that it was good for him to get something to drink or eat every once in a while. He never turned you away, so he must not have been bothered by your intrusions. As a matter of fact, he requested to see you several times, all for business, though the tasks he asked you to complete were things any random cadet could've done for him. But he always asked for you.

Today was no different, as the two of you sat quietly in his office, sipping tea from mugs as he worked through paper work while you sorted papers, filed some and packed and sealed others in envelopes. You found yourself constantly looking at his serene features while he worked. Commander Erwin rarely looked up once he was focused on something, no matter how trivial it may have been. That dedication was part of what made him so attractive.

He finished what he was working on and looked up at you before you had the chance to look away. "_____? Is there something on my face?"

You blinked. "What? No, why?"

"You were staring," he said, the corners of his lips twitching upwards slightly.

Over the time you've spent with him, you've gradually gotten better at hiding your frequent bouts of embarrassment. This, however, was one of those times where it seemed you had no control over yourself. You cheeks grew hot. "Oh, I, um, I spaced out," you concluded, smiling innocently. Nice catch, you congratulated yourself.

He nodded, seemingly buying your response. "You must be dreadfully bored with all of this busy work."

Shaking your head rapidly, you responded, "Not at all, sir!"

The commander smiled slightly. "Then why were you staring at me?"

Checkmate. "I-I'm just-just tired, sir," you said hurriedly, faster than you meant. "Just tired, that's all, sir," you repeated more slowly.

"You don't need to call me 'sir' all the time," the commander said suddenly. "It's only the two of us in here. I don't mind if you call me by name."

"I-if you say so, Erwin," you said, yawning. If you were anymore nervous, you'd hyperventilate. Damn, did this guy know how to screw with me! you thought.

Erwin nodded over to the couch against the wall beside his desk. "Take a nap, _____. You sound tired."

"There's still all of this paperwork to take care of," you objected. "I still have to-"

"I managed to deal with this for a long time before you joined the corps," he interjected. You looked away, upset by the subtle reference to the age difference between you two. Not seeming to recognize that statement as the source of your discomfort, he continued. "Having you around definitely helps the work get done faster. I find myself looking forward to paper work now," he added, smiling. "But I'm sure I can manage to get through a good bit while you take a rest." Erwin glanced meaningfully at the couch.

Knowing that he wouldn't take no for an answer, you sighed. "Yes, sir."

"Erwin," he corrected, picking up another packet of paper and beginning to leaf through it.

"Yes, Erwin," you replied, rolling you eyes at him exaggeratedly. A rumbling laugh escaped his lips. Satisfied, you curled up on the couch, laying your head on the plush arm rest. Pretending to fall asleep, you gazed at Erwin through half-lidded eyes.

He was such a wonderful man. So mature, dedicated, intelligent, handsome, he was the best anyone could wish for in their commander. Erwin was also very unpredictable, maybe even a little odd. You couldn't count the number of times he would randomly get up from something he was in the middle of doing, begin pacing around, then sit down again and scribble something down on a piece of paper. On a more personal level, he was very kind and understanding, more so than you could've guessed. He was very strict as well, but it was clear he had everyone's best interests at heart.

And he was unbelievably attractive. Especially now, when his hair was slightly mussed from having his hand in it all day, and his jacket hung discarded on the back of his chair with his top shirt buttons undone. He looked so much more human when he didn't look so perfect. You didn't really notice as you drifted off, as your commander observed your calm, sleeping profile.


Something was pulling at your hair, and it was really bothering you. Batting it away with a half-asleep flick of your hand, you relaxed back into slumber. But there it was again. Opening your groggy eyes, you finally realized that you had fallen asleep, for a LONG time. It was nearly sunset. You jerked upwards, only to collide with some one sitting at the edge of the cushion.

"What the-" you began, but then you realized that it was Erwin. Of course. This was his office. "I'm so sorry-"

"No, that's my fault," he interrupted, pulling his hand away from your hair. Then he smiled reminiscently. "Sounds just like how we first met."

"You remembered?" you asked incredulously. "I didn't think you did."

"Of course I did. You're too interesting to forget," he replied, grinning.

"If you mean easily angered, violent, and thoughtless, then yeah, interesting," you said. "I've been doing my best to work on that."

"I know. I've been watching you too," he said. Then he frowned. "That sounded weird."

Blushing, you shrugged. "It's only fair. I keep staring at you all of the time, too..." There was no point in hiding it. He knew. And this was the part where he told you that you were like a kid sister to him, or something like that.

Instead, you felt an arm wrap around your shoulders. You looked up at him, confused. He was staring up at the ceiling, apparently collecting his thoughts. "How to say this..." he mused aloud.

Your heart sank. "It's alright," you said, letting out a breath you didn't realize you had been holding. "I know. It's weird having a cadet chasing you around, right? I'm barely more than a kid chasing after her commander with a one-sided crush. You don't have to worry about hurting my feelings. I've already come to terms with it."

His soft laughter startled you. Erwin placed his hands on both of your shoulders, turning you to face him. "If only it were that easy," he said, his smile tense. "If only your 'crush' was one-sided. I feel like a teenager all over again. I don't know what to say to you. But, I really like you, _____. More than I should, much, much more. You should be dating men your own age, not hanging around me, doing paperwork in your free time. I just can't seem to keep myself from wanting to see you."

Momentarily shocked, you placed a cool finger on his warm lips. "Why on earth would I want to date someone my own age? All the guys I know are my friends. It would be awkward dating one of them. Besides, they're immature brats," you finished, stealing one of Corporal Levi's favorite insults. You sighed. "But, I guess compared to you, I'm an immature brat, too."

Shaking his head, he moved his large hands to cup your cheeks. "I don't think so. I find you to be a beautiful young woman, despite what the corporal says." His face leaned closer to yours. "In fact, I think you are perfect. You strive to make yourself a better person. You even give me all of your time and effort, just to make me happy. Let me tell you something: I really appreciate it."

He crossed the distance between your lips and kissed you passionately, pushing you back on your forearms. His hands slid down your shoulders, more slowly down your waist, until they came to a rest at your hips. Having anticipated his move, you were instantly responsive and kissed him back. Slowly, you pressed yourself closer to him, and he obligingly gave way to you, allowing you to move back into a sitting position.

Breaking contact for a moment to take a deep breath, you flung your arms around his neck and kissed him again violently, throwing him onto his back with you on top of him. Your legs straddled his waist, but you didn't care; he tasted too good for you to want to stop. He moaned from the sudden impact, giving you full access to his mouth. His hand moved to the backs of you legs, pressing you closer. You positioned your hands on his shoulders for support as you pulled your head back and gasped for breath.

Erwin leaned his head forward, biting your bottom lip and leading you back down to him. A hand cupped the back of your head, pulling you more deeply into the kiss. You din't complain, balling your hands into fists, grasping handfuls of shirt. Maneuvering your shaking hands between the two of you, you began to unbutton his shirt.

A rough, rapid knock came at the door, followed by the sound of an impatiently tapping foot. The two of you froze, staring at each other with a mixture of shock and annoyance. You rolled off of him, straightening out your clothes. Taking a quick look at Erwin, who was a LOT messier looking then you, you could barely stifle a giggle. Hurriedly buttoning up his shirt for him, you grinned at his completely mussed hair, which he was desperately trying to comb back. He gave you a quick look over, brushed his fingers through your hair quickly, and he pushed you towards a chair in front of his desk. He quickly took a seat in his own chair and made himself look busy. You grabbed some papers and went back to work sorting papers and prepping mail.

Once you both were settled, Erwin called, "Yes, Levi?"

The door was thrown open and an angry corporal came stalking in, not pausing to look at you as he proceeded to the couch and threw himself down. You gave Erwin a sideways smirk. Would the corporal still sit there if he knew what would have happened on that couch had he not interrupted? Erwin, however, was as serious as ever, not showing a single sign about what had just occurred.

"Something the matter?" Erwin said, looking back down to the papers in his hands.

The corporal glared at you, then he sighed, seeming to acknowledge your presence as something permanent. "These cadets," he spat, not looking at you, "are a pain in the ass. After the recovery of Trost, all of those brats have seen at least one person die by the hands of a titan, and now the vast majority of them are having some sort of psychological breakdown or episode of some sort just by thinking of the upcoming expedition."

You frowned. Having been so preoccupied with Erwin, you had hardly noticed the actions of any of your comrades. Instantly, feelings of guilt washed over you. Who were you to be enjoying your little relationship with your commander while your friends suffered? You finished sealing the envelope you were stuffing and set it down on Erwin's desk with the rest of the pile.

Saluting smartly, you stated, "I'll be taking my leave now, sir. Call me if you need anything." With a reluctant nod from him, you exited his office, pondering what it was you could do to ease the tensions running high among your friends. An idea came to mind, but it was against regulation. But then, if something was worth doing, wasn't it likely that a few rules had to be broken to achieve the goal? You grinned. This was going to be a night to remember. But first, you needed booze and lots of it.


"So tell me, _____, why are we following you out into the middle of the woods again?" Jean asked you as you walked in front of a group of about twenty fresh cadets. You didn't know all of them personally, but you knew most of them fairly well, so it was easy to convince them to come along.

"Like I said, it's a surprise," you said, grinning. "Trust me, you'll all like it." After another minute of walking, you lead them into the clearing you had come across while frantically searching for a place to have your last-minute pick-me-up party. It had a fair amount of dead wood lying around, which came in handy for constructing the nicely-sized bonfire, which was now blazing brightly. It was large enough for everyone to sit around without lighting the surrounding landscape on fire. Best part was, there was enough firewood to keep it blazing for at least three more hours, if not longer.

"Ta-da!" you shouted, running over to the bush where you had stashed the several cases of heavy liqueur you had snagged from the supply house. You'd take responsibility for that later, but now, it was time to party. "Start passing them around!" you called, handing out a few bottles. "We'll get more out later when we run out. Come on! Let's sit around the fire and talk about nothing for a few hours. I think we've earned some special off time after all we've done so far," you announced. You sat down in front of the fire, popped open a bottle, and took a swig. Patting the ground to your side, you added, "Come on! Do I have to drink this all by myself?"

Jean was the first to take a seat, choosing to sit next to you, and soon, the entire group was situated about the campfire, drinking and laughing and talking. You watched quietly as everyone around you seemed to enjoy themselves. Mission accomplished, you thought proudly. Sure, they'll wake up hung over and I'll get in a shit load of trouble for stealing all this whiskey, but it's totally worth it to see everyone cut loose a little and mellow out.

"Did you get any of this approved?" Jean asked, taking the bottle out of your hands and downing a few gulps. He sighed contentedly.

"Does that really matter?" you countered, grinning widely. "Everyone looks like they're having fun. That's all that matters right now."

"Hmph." Jean leaned back and stared at the sky, taking another sip from the bottle. "So, how's it going with you and the commander?" he asked suddenly.

"Wh-what?" you stammered. There was no way he should know about that! You looked away nervously.

"You're his new office assistant, right?" he asked, oblivious to your plight. "After we got you in trouble that one night during dish duty, you've been spending a lot of time running around doing errands for him or helping him around the office. He's not being cruel to you, is he?"

"No, no!" you responded quickly, relieved he had meant something entirely different from what you had been thinking about. "It's not bad at all, really. I don't mind doing the busy work. It's kind of relaxing after a day of harsh training with the corporal."

Being assigned to his training squad was one of the top things in life you really hated. He was extra rude to you after that night of dish duty. Everything you did seemed to piss him off even more than he already was. The mere sight of you was apparently enough to drive him into an angry mood. When you were around, he acted like he was one angry burst away from a heart attack.

Jean mistook this sudden drop in temperature around you and your thoughts of the corporal as stress from working with the commander. "Just let me know if you're having any kind of trouble. I'll be there for you."

You gave him a funny look. "Are you drunk, Jean?"

He shook his head and snorted. "I'm still getting there, I think."

The two of you were distracted by Sasha and Connie, who had both finished a bottle of alcohol together, when they stood up and began singing and dancing together. You laughed as they nearly tripped, sending them flying into Mikasa, Eren, and Armin, who were huddled together, their alcohol barely touched. The pair of drunkards stumbled back to their feet and started swaying around together again, this time farther away from people.

Reiner and Bertholdt also seemed to be having a good time. Somehow, each had managed to procure his own bottle. Reiner was laughing heartily at some stupid scene Bertholdt was trying to act out. Honestly, it just looked like a lot of flailing, but maybe that's why it was funny. Poor tall guy couldn't hold his liqueur.

Several other people agreed with Sasha and Connie and had decided it was time to dance around drunkenly. Thankfully, they all realized that fire was dangerous and weren't standing too close to the campfire. Dancing seemed fun, but you didn't feel like it. The person you wanted to dance with wasn't present.

Jean, however, wasn't having any of your sadness. He hauled you to your feet and wrapped his arms around your neck as the two of you began swaying and spinning around. In order to control his jerky, half-drunken movements, you placed your hands on his waist.

"You are such a dumbass, Jean," you snorted, laughing at him. This wasn't all that bad, you mused. Your sad, drunk friends were actually seeming to have fun. Even Mikasa looked happier, snuggled next to Eren while watching Sasha and Connie fall all over themselves and each other, being the most drunk people there. You realized there would be a lot of alcohol that needed to be carried back to the supply house. Well, at least you wouldn't get in as much trouble for theft. Even if you and Erwin had something going on, he would still be forced to reprimand you for your actions.

But right now, everything was fine. Jean's head lie on your shoulder as he mumbled incoherent words and hugged you tightly. Eventually, he fell asleep, and you struggled to set down the dead weight of his body without outright dropping him. After settling him close to the fire with your jacket as his pillow, you plopped down next to Armin, who had moved away from Eren and Mikasa, who were both snoring and sleeping on each other's shoulders.

"This was a nice thing to do, _____," he piped, as the both of you watched Ymir swing Krista around maniacally, involved in some crazy Ymir-kind of dance. "Though you do know you're going to be mucking stalls for a whole week by yourself, courtesy of the corporal? Providing alcohol to other minors and stealing it in the first place is seriously going to piss him off beyond anything you've ever incited him to do before."

You shrugged. "Maybe. But everyone seems a lot less stressed now. That's worse than being hungover in the morning with no recollection of what happened. At least now, people are going to feel rejuvenated tomorrow and feel a lot less adverse to the upcoming mission in a week."

"You really are trying to be nice, aren't you?" Armin asked, giving you a small smile. "I guess you're right. This is relaxing. For everyone but you." He gave you a sidelong glance full of concern with his intelligent blue eyes, reminding you greatly of Erwin. "Why aren't YOU happy, _____?"

"There's someone else I want to be with," you admitted, feeling no reason to not say that much. "And he's not here. Granted, he's got work to do, so he obviously can't come and party with us brats." You grinned.

"Is it the corporal?" Armin asked innocently.

You started, then gave a loud laugh. "Hell no. Corporal Levi is an asshole. I'm not masochistic, Armin. Same reason why I don't like Jean like that. We fight too much for us to have a real relationship."

"Then who is it?" Armin inquired, looking stumped. Then his eyes lit up with realization. "You don't mean Commander-"

You slapped a hand over his mouth, looking around frantically to make sure nobody had been listening. Then you dropped your hand. "I know. Crazy, isn't it?"

"Maybe, I don't know," Armin said, looking startled for being right. Though he was often right about a lot of things, so you didn't see why he was so surprised. "If the two of you are happy together, then there's nothing crazy about it."

Slowly but surely, the fire was dying down, and you didn't feel like adding the extra wood to it. Everyone was just about partied out, anyway. Guess the alcohol was too strong. "Come on, we need to get everyone back to their rooms so they can have some time to sleep this off," you suggested, standing up and going to shake Eren and Mikasa awake. They jerked away from each other when they realized what they were doing, and that was really adorable.

Soon enough, you had convinced everyone it was time for bed and had sent most back to their rooms with a semi-sober escort. "Aw, party's over?" Sasha drawled, dragging Connie along.

"Yeah, you guys need some sleep," you said, grinning. "Glad you guys had fun, though." Her and Connie both stumbled up to you and hugged you, each kissing you on the cheek. You blushed furiously as they pulled away. "Come on, guys," you said embarrassingly.

"Just tell us when you're having another one of these parties!" she hiccuped, staggering away with Connie.

Now you were the last one left. Resigned to clean up duty in the half-light of the dying fire, you collected empty bottles and tossed them into the still mostly full crate of liqueur bottles you had brought out. Hauling it up, you really regretted bringing out so many, because it felt so damn heavy now since you were tired.

"Do you need help with that?" a voice asked from behind you. Startled, you nearly dropped the entire crate. Well-muscled arms arms wrapped around both you and the crate, keeping it from falling.

"E-Erwin," you breathed, not expecting him to be out here. Not like you minded.

"That was some party," he commented, lifting the crate out of your arms and over your head. Erwin stared down at your confused expression with amusement.

"Not really," you managed to say. "Give teenagers some alcohol for the first time, and they go nuts. My friends just happened to be entertaining drunks." Shit, was he going to punish you?

He began walking away towards the supply station, and you hurried to keep up with him. "So, you asked, "how long did you know what we were doing?"

"Almost the whole time." He shifted the crate in his arms and grinned at you. "You need to work on being more stealthy. It was easy to follow you around."

You cringed. "So, what's my punishment?"

"Punishment?" he asked blankly.

"You know, for stealing military property, furnishing minors with alcohol, being out late without permission in the woods-"

"Woo says you didn't have permission?" he asked. "As far as I'm concerned, I said it was fine for you to take the alcohol and give it to the new cadets for a break. It was a completely controlled environment in the center of the woods."

Snorting, you responded, "You'd do that for me?"

He nodded immediately. "Of course. You've been helping out with my work for weeks with no compensation. It's the least I could do."

"No compensation? I've been able to spend time with you and get to know you better. That's better than any amount of money," you declared.

"Then I owe you even more, considering that I feel much the same," Erwin added. He smiled at you as the two of you entered the warehouse and set down the alcohol, minus the empty bottles, which were thrown in the refuse pile.

You yawned. "Tomorrow is going to be hell," you predicted. "For all the trainees. If I feel this screwy after a few sips, I feel really bad for Sasha and Connie."

"What about that boy you were dancing with?"

Shit. You froze. You knew exactly where this was headed. "Yeah, Jean too. But before you say anything, let me tell you there is absolutely NOTHING between us. He was drunk, and I was being nice." You frowned. "He doesn't really have anyone since Marco was killed."

"You don't have to defend yourself," Erwin stated, grasping your hand in his as he led you out of the storage building and towards the main body of the HQ. "I heard you talking to the blonde boy, Armin."

"Haha," you laughed awkwardly. "Bet you think I'm weird now."

"Not really. I'm just glad you want me around," he said softly.

Squeezing his hand, you responded, "Of course I want you around. I feel safer around you, not to mention inspired. You make me think outside of the box and want to help people the best way I know how. You bring out the best in me without doing anything. That's the best quality in a person I can think of. But I'M surprised you want me around. You don't need anyone else to make you the best person you can possibly be. You're already perfect."

He pulled you into a tight hug, and he kissed you lightly on the lips. "You make me feel happy," he said, pulling away for a moment, then kissing you more deeply. "That's all I could ever ask for," he whispered into your ear.

Then he pulled away, leaving you wanting more. "But I won't take advantage of you after you've had some alcohol to drink," he said, once again weaving his fingers between yours.

"You're such a gentleman," you murmured, leaning your heard against his shoulder as you walked. You didn't really pay attention to anything else but the fact that Erwin was there, leading you to your room. He opened the door quietly and let you fall into bed, almost completely asleep.

He kissed you on the forehead, brushing your hair out of your face. "Good night, _____." Reluctantly, he left your bedside and exited your room, closing the door softly. The expedition was only a week away, and your lack of safety was eating at him.